November 28, 2007

The "Road Trip" Blog.... starring Big Jon as the Sardine

It all started on a recent Saturday night, my sister and I were just chilling watching the Carolina/Clemson game at the crib. We get hungry in the middle of the first quarter, so we take a look in the fridge. We open the fridge, only to find some cole slaw, an endless supply of condiments, and some milk; my sister and I then sit back and analyze the situation, then proceed to weigh our options. We get nowhere with that..... eventually, that "I have a good idea" light bulb appears above my head. Little sis notices it and says, "Good idea, huh?". I reply, "What better to go with a bunch of cole slaw..... HOT DOGS!"..... immediately following that light bulb, a brighter light bulb suddenly appears (or at least it appeared to be brighter at the time). I figure that I'll drive her car....... *reasons- 1.) I've never been in her car since she got it 2.) She's got satellite radio 3.) SHE'S GOT SATELLITE RADIO -reasons* ......

Quick Disclaimer:

  • I drive my truck everywhere..... PERIOD! (I see nothing but gangsta's up in here! RAM Squad- That's for you MIDI!)
  • I'm a BIG MAN, yeah..... BIG MAN, hear that ladies? It's some good cuddling and what not going on over here, TEDDY BEAR STATUS! *wink wink*
Shameless plug............ CHECK!!!!!!

So I get in the car, which was a squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze...... and I'm thinking this is gonna suck! But I'm still optimistic at this point, because she has SATELLITE RADIO...... YAY! Now that I'm in the car, it is pretty roomy and a decent fit (for strictly "around the corner" missions that is).... I turn the radio on, and it is on the Holy Holy Holy channel, you already know that I'm trying to find some HIP-HOP! Now I don't have any clue as to where or how to locate my station of interest, so I just turned to "45"..... which was Shade45, fortunately.... now I'm good, or am I? So I'm chill for now, off to Food Lion, progress! I roll up in the Food Lion parking lot, I say to myself, "Self... there is no need to take the close park considering that a million people are in this parking lot when I pull up.", go figure. So I get a park that is out of the public's eye..... time to squeeze outta this Caliber. As I am exiting the car my right elbow lays on the horn for a good "3 Mississipi's", me being as cool as I am, I "chuck a deuce" in the direction of a "homie" on the other side of the parking lot..... that went well. I make my purchase and I am now headed back to the sardine can that my sister calls a car. Just so happens that there is a car FULL of people parked where? Yep, right by me, *sigh*.... think quick, I start to pat my pocket like I left my keys in the store, I look back up and the car's reverse lights are on, they are leaving!!!! So I do a quick Houdini, and squeeze back into the car and head to the crib! I made it! As soon as I made it back, I was sure to throw her car keys at her and say, "NEVER AGAIN!"

Lesson: Satellite radio isn't all that it's cracked up to be! Sometimes you just need to burn you own gas, regardless if you're blocked in or not.....

To my sister: My Dodge is better than yours! Your whip sucks, seriously(yet sincerely)...oh yeah, love you too!

PS- Those hot dogs were banging!

3 comments:

NomadX said...

WAIT! you have a sister? When did that happen...anyway, next time, make her go and you finish watching them Gamecocks(aka "the Heartbreakers") lose to Clemson(aka "My-Mama's-Team-But-She-Doesn't-Know-Why!")

MIDIMarc said...

LOLOL. I can reeeeeeeeeeeeeeelateeeeeeee!!!!!

Southern Girl said...

Sardine can? wahahaha! This is your cousin by the way.
~B